You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
