Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
