I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
