great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
