Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize
