i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
