I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
