There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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