i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
