dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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