I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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