You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
