Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
