I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
