My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
