I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
