did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
