Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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