Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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