Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
