My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
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