Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
