blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
