Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
