Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
