You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
