Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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