its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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