the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
this will be a night to untag.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
