a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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