how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
