you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
