uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I want her autograph on my taint
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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