There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i think i have herpe
just one?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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