Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
