i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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