well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
