Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
