I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
