OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
