We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
