u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
