we should wear snuggies to the strip club
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
