So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She's the barista slut.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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