dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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