My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
