Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
