I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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