then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
