How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
