I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
