Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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